For all potential university freshers/newbies:-

Preparing for university can be confusing and somewhat baffling. Moaning parents and hyperactive friends, it's hard to know if your coming or going. University is what you make it and will without doubt define you as a person for the rest of your life. Therefore I thought I would give some pointers of what a fresher would need to survive the first week or so...

• George Foreman grill (bread and cheese for drunken 3am cheese toasty making) 
• A liver that has been trained from the days of underage drinking at the local
• Deodorant (this will replace washing some day's)
• Large hoodie (required when you realise your heating is faulty)
• The largest mountain of underwear possible - this means you can get away with only washing your clothes once a month.
• Tins of beans
• Bottle of JD - to help you make friends. 

WARNING - Girls, do not touch the football team, they ALL have crab's.